A Response by Father John...

My wife, Emma, has asked me to respond to some of the questions she has received on her blog. First, let me say that as an Orthodox Christian priest I highly esteem theological discussion and inquiry as one of the ways we have been given to acquire the mind of Christ (1 Cor 2:16), who is the head of the Church (Eph. 4:15). As with anything in the spiritual life, growth is always preceded by humility, and a genuine acknowledgment that we do not yet have perfect knowledge in that we have not yet perfectly acquired the mind of Christ, the mind of the Church.

It would be impossible to adequately answer each and every question raised in a response on this blog, however, I will try to provide a brief answer to the following questions: 1) Was the Mother of God a life-long virgin? 2) Is sex an obstacle to holiness of life? 3) Where can I read more on the Orthodox Church's teaching and how it differs from both Roman Catholicism and Protestantism? 4) What is the relationship between Holy Scripture and Holy Tradition in the Orthodox Church?

1) Yes, according to the teaching of the ancient church, the Mother of God was a life-long virgin. St. Joseph was a widower who had four sons and two daughters from his previous marriage; in the Scriptures these children are called the brothers and sisters of Jesus, though there was no blood relation since Joseph was not the father of Jesus. Besides his irreproachable, trustworthy, and honorable life, the elder Joseph's great age made him a suitable guardian for the young virgin girl who had vowed to live in perpetual virginity. When the Virgin Mary was found to be with child the elderly Joseph feared to take her as wife, not because people would think that he fathered the child because he was too old for this, but because people would think that she had fallen into sin with another man; this is why St. Joseph thought to put her away privately (Matt. 1:19).

Saint Joseph reposed at the age of about 100. The last reference to him in Holy Scripture is in Chapter 2 of St. Luke's Gospel, when he, together with the Virgin Mary, brought the 12-year-old Christ to the Temple in Jerusalem. That the brothers and sisters of the Lord were not the children of Mary is clearly evident from the fact that the Lord entrusted His Mother before His death to His beloved disciple John. Why should He do this if she had other children besides Him? They themselves would have taken care of her. The sons of Joseph, did not consider themselves obliged to take care of one they regarded as their stepmother, or at least did not have for her such love as blood children have for parents, and such as the adopted John had for her.

In answer to the question, if Mary was a life long virgin then why does Scripture say that Joseph "knew her not until she brought forth her first-born son, Jesus" (Matt. 1:25): The word "until" does not signify that Mary remained a virgin only until a certain time. The word "until" and words similar to it often signify eternity. In the Sacred Scriptures it is said of Christ: "In His days shall shine forth righteousness and an abundance of peace, until the moon be taken away" (Psalm 71:7), but this does not mean that when there shall no longer be a moon at the end of the world, God's righteousness shall no longer be; precisely then, rather, will it triumph. And what does it mean when it says: "For He must reign, until He hath put all enemies under His feet?" (1 Cor. 15:25). Is the Lord to reign only for a time until His enemies shall be under His feet?! The Savior in the Gospel says to the Apostles (Matt: 28:20): "Lo, I am with you always, even until the end of the world." Are we to believe that the Lord will no longer be with the disciples in the age to come? While there are plenty more such examples of the use of the word until, the above are sufficient to prove that Matt 1:25 does not argue against the life-long virginity of the Mother of God.

2) In the Orthodox Church, the life-long virginity of the Mother of God is in no way tied to the false belief that sex is dirty, bad, or inappropriate for those living a life of holiness. The gift of sexual union is from God Himself and is sanctified through Christian marriage. The vow of virginity should not be seen as fleeing from something evil, but as offering something good (one's deepest desire) to the Lord. It should not be surprising that the one and only woman who was overshadowed by the Holy Spirit and who gave birth to the Son of God, would desire to continue to offer her virginity to the Lord. The Mother of God was an ordinary woman, flesh and blood like the rest of us, yet as the Word of God teaches, she lived an extraordinary life and for this "all generations call her blessed" (Luke 1:48).

3) For the first 1,000 years of Christianity the Orthodox Church and the Roman Catholic Church shared a common faith. After the Great Schism of 1054, the Roman Catholic Church introduced new teachings which led to and continue to spur on the Protestant Reformation: the universal jurisdiction and infallibility of the Pope of Rome, indulgences, purgatory, an incorrect doctrine of original sin, the Immaculate Conception, the Assumption of Mary, and other erroneous teachings, which many Roman Catholics themselves have come to reject or at least step back from. While the Orthodox Church never accepted these teachings, She did not "throw out the baby with the bath water", but kept intact the faith of the Apostles, which was shared by Eastern and Western Christendom for the first millennium.

The theological arguments between Roman Catholicism and Protestantism have led Western Christianity into extremes which were never found in the Orthodox Church. And in a sense Catholicism and Protestantism can even been seen as two sides of the same coin, while Orthodoxy is a coin unfamiliar to many today but easily recognizable by the Apostles and Church Fathers. For more information of the Orthodox Christian Faith, please see: http://orthodoxyinamerica.org or http://oca.org

4) In the Orthodox Church there is no contradiction between the teaching of the Sacred Scriptures and Church Tradition. This is because the Sacred Scriptures themselves arose from within the Tradition of the Church. The New Testament was written by the Apostles. The list of Books which make up the New Testament were decided upon by the bishops of the church. It was the bishops of the Church who decided what Books were canonical and what books were apocryphal and what books were spurious or heretical. In fact, the list of New Testament Books as we have them today did not appear until 387 AD in the Paschal (Easter) Letter of St. Athanasius the Great, Bishop of Alexandria.

Since the Bible is itself the teaching or proclamation of the Church (the people of God, both before and after Christ, both the Old and New Testaments) there is no contradiction or conflict between Sacred Scripture and the teachings or tradition of the Church. This is why if something doesn't appear in the Bible, we first turn to the rest of the teaching of the Church before we trust in our own opinion. In all things we advance by humility and the desire to acquire the mind of Christ, which is nothing other than the mind of the Church.

Questions...

If anyone has any questions about my post, My Take on the Nativity Story, please, please ask away! My husband will be a guest blogger some time today and answer any questions that are posed. I am not sure what time he will do this as he has a sermon to write and a bulletin to prepare. Though the focus of this blog is mainly for the topic of femininity, I feel that it is proper to take time to comment on this topic of The Nativity Story for two reasons: The Mother of God was a woman who all women should emulate and also because it is a topic that many people have false impressions of.

My take on The Nativity Story film...

Though I found The Nativity Story review below entertaining, I disagree with F.M-G.'s thoughts on the movie. She is incorrect when she says that "It’s a respectful and historically authentic film, and those two assets are rare enough to promise success, both on opening weekend and down the years." This movie was not as historically accurate as F.M-G. tries to make it sound. While it may appeal to the contemporary Christian mind, it does not correspond to the teaching of the ancient Orthodox Christian Church of which F.M-G. is a well-known member:

1. Ss. Joachim and Anna were not poor (as they were portrayed to be in the movie). In fact, they were very wealthy, owning not only a home in Nazareth, but also one in Jerusalem.

2. The Mother of God was the only child of Ss. Joachim and Anna, gifted to them in old age, and for this reason dedicated to the Temple at age three where she remained until age twelve, at which time she was betrothed to the elderly Joseph (or the "Chaste Joseph" as he is called in the Orthodox Church). He was a widower with his own children from his previous marriage and was chosen for Mary not only because of his virtue but more importantly, due to his advanced age (according to Church Tradition he was nearly eighty years old), he was a suitable guardian for her life-long virginity.

3. While it makes the story more dramatic, the journey from Nazareth to Bethlehem was not made by the youthful and studly Joseph, Mary, and Child alone. It was made by the elderly Joseph, Mary, Child, and Joseph's adult children from his previous marriage.

4. While it is not known exactly when the Wisemen arrived, Church Tradition teaches that they arrived in Bethlehem only after St. Joseph had secured housing for his wife, her Divine Son and his children. (Matthew 2:11)

5. The flight into Egypt did not take place until after the Circumcision of the Lord (the 8th day after His birth) and His presentation at the Temple (the 40th day after His birth).

6. The Slaughter of the Holy Innocents (all of the children killed by Herod in an attempt to eradicate Christ), did not take place on the night of the Nativity, but only afterwards. Some say after the 40th day, others up to two years later.

7. The Wisemen were warned in a dream not to return to their land by way of Herod (Matthew 2:12).

Despite all of this, both my husband and I really enjoyed the movie and are so glad that we went to go see it! Hubby is planning on having Bible study in a few weeks based on Ancient Church Teaching and The Nativity Story. It should have some great discussion!

The Nativity Story Review...

[Beliefnet, November 30, 2006]

The curiosity of the Christmas season has got to be “The Nativity Story,” a film which presents the story of the Virgin Mary, her betrothal to Joseph, and the birth of Jesus Christ with an utterly straight face. If you thought Hollywood was incapable of approaching Christians without a cattle prod, you’ll be shocked at how circumspect this movie is.

“The Passion of the Christ” had earlier been a shock to Hollywood. Perhaps they had envisioned the conservative Christian audience as too tiny or too ignorant to fool with; perhaps they had envisioned the Christian-bashing audience as including everyone worth including. But the long lines for Mel Gibson’s strong medicine, back in the spring of 2004, astounded everybody. And it turned out that Christian money is just as green as everybody else’s.

But is something deeper going on? The film’s producers insisted to the New York Times that they have had enough of the “cynical, youth-oriented, disposable entertainment you saw Friday and forget by Saturday,” as Wyck Godrey put it. The kind of films he wants to make now will be “about something and stick with you.” And producer Marty Bowen says he wants to make “movies I’d be proud of making. Movies my mother would go to.” He adds, “I’d rather be corny than cynical. I’d rather make a movie that’s patriotic than partisan.”

Those are surprising and refreshing words, and they wouldn’t have been heard a few years ago. But it may take a little longer to discover a way of producing films undergirded with such convictions that also have a bit of a spark. There is nothing in this film to offend devout Christians (parents note, however, a PG rating for some glimpses of crucifixion) — but solemnity rolls through it all like molasses. As the film opens with golden letters scrolling over a background of stormy clouds, and an unseen choir sings, “Veni, Veni, Emmanuel,” you have the distinct feeling that you’ve traveled back in time. No, not to first-century Palestine — to 1965, and a showing of “The Greatest Story Ever Told.”

I can’t help thinking that a different female lead could have made all the difference. Keisha Castle-Hughes starred as a young Maori destined to rule her tribe in “Whale Rider” (2002); for that role, she became, at 13, the youngest actress ever nominated for an Oscar. Perhaps her sturdy indomitability suited that character better than it does this one. Here, she just seems disengaged. Some astounding and even terrifying things are happening to Mary, but Castle-Hughes looks like her mind is somewhere else.

This results in the unusual situation that the male actors surrounding the film’s center are more emotionally engaging than the female lead. Newcomer Oscar Isaac is very appealing as Joseph, and conveys tenderness and shy young love without sacrificing a bit of masculinity. Shaun Toub is wonderful as her father Joachim, and Stanley Townsend is eye-catching as a hearty Zacharias. The three wise men (Eriq Ebouaney, Nadim Sawalha, and Stefan Kalipha) are lavishly arrayed and personable, and their interaction provides a bit of (somewhat stretched) comic relief.

A big actor in a small part steals the screen when Mary and Joseph stop for rest on their way to Bethlehem. A wind-battered old shepherd (Ted Rusoff) invites them to warm themselves by his fire. His lines are kind of hokey – something about, his father told him that each person is given a gift. Yes, dads say things like that. Particularly dads in the 1980’s. But Rusoff is notably alive on the screen, and delightful to watch. So there he is on one side, and there’s beautiful Oscar Isaac on the other, and in the middle sits Keisha Castle-Hughes, her face like a hard little pebble.

Later on, the old shepherd comes to see the newborn infant Jesus. He approaches with awe, on the brink of tears. You’d think this would be a good moment for Mary to smile and reach out toward him, and perhaps with moistened eyes say softly, “He is for all mankind. We are each given a gift.” But Castle-Hughes stares blankly as he hobbles forward – if anything, slightly annoyed — and delivers the line like a mailman. Then she checks her cell for text messages.

Shoreh Aghdashloo is warm and wonderful as Elizabeth, and Hiam Abass is effective as Anna. Ciaran Hinds is a bit overcooked as Herod, but maybe it’s the lighting. (Interesting to see how many nationalities are represented among the cast. Much of the world’s population, it seems, could pass for Semitic. It’s blue-eyed blonds who are odd-man-out.)

The strongest character in the movie is under the actors’ feet: the Italian countryside, standing in for ancient Israel (just as it did in “The Passion of the Christ”) teaches in a way no words can how very hard life is in a rocky desert land. The journey Mary and Joseph make from Nazareth to Bethlehem, one hundred miles, begins to look like a superhuman feat. Our European fantasies of the Holy Land are corrected, for example, by seeing Jesus born among animals sheltering in a cave, not in a cozy wooden stable.

Judging by the quantity of sniffles during closing credits, “The Nativity Story” hits a lot of viewers squarely in the heart. It’s a respectful and historically authentic film, and those two assets are rare enough to promise success, both on opening weekend and down the years. If this is the beginning of a trend toward movies that are not “cynical” and “disposable,” I’m all for it. And I hope eventually we’ll find a way to do it that is fresh and authentic, and not merely safe.

-Frederica Mathewes-Green

Nantucket...

Flowers through the window
lavender and yellow

changed by white curtains-
smell of cleanliness-

sunshine of late afternoon-
on the glass tray

A glass pitcher, the tumbler
turned down, by which

a key is lying- And the
immaculate white bed.

- William Carlos Williams

Paprika...

"Dressy! I use it on roast chicken, potato salad, deviled eggs, cole slaw, even in cornbread. It has a very delicate taste that is often overwhelmed by other tastes, but always makes a dish look ready for company."

-Found in: Jan Karon's Mitford Cookbook and Kitchen Reader-

Have you ever heard someone say something that makes you sit up and listen? I recently heard a quote by the author Marianne Williamson that touched me deeply. Almost as soon as I heard it, I hopped onto Google and found it in its entirety. After reading it several times, I have began to feel more feminine just looking at the words! Find a quotation, poem, or song that moves you and makes you want to become a better woman!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Love...

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expected to get, only with what you are expected to give... which is everything."

Katharine Hepburn

Olive Oil - Kitchen Cupboard Beauty Tips

By Cait Johnson, Assistant Producer, Care2 Healthy Living Channels.

For centuries, Mediterranean beauties have relied on olive oil to help maintain good health, a fresh, dewy complexion, lustrous hair, and more.

Simple Solution: Now you can learn the secrets of olive oil that have made it such a favorite Kitchen Cupboard beauty aid for so many for so long.

Cuticles and nails: If your cuticles are ragged and your nails brittle and dry, olive oil can help! Soak nails for 30 minutes in a small cup of olive oil.

Hands: Smooth on a generous amount of olive oil before bed, put on white cotton gloves, and go to sleep. Your hands will be softer and smoother in the morning!

Lips: To soothe and smoothe dry, chapped lips, dab on a little olive oil.
Hair treatment: This helps repair split ends, heals dandruff, and makes your hair shiny, silky, and lustrous. Massage a few tablespoons of olive oil into scalp and hair. Cover hair with a plastic bathing cap and leave on for 30 minutes or more, then shampoo as usual.

Skin: Massage a small amount of olive oil into skin whenever you need softening and moisturizing. Apply extra oil to rough or cracked areas.

Bath: Add several tablespoons of olive oil to your bath, along with a few drops of your favorite essential oil, to soothe and nourish your skin.

Helpful Hints:
Always use the purest olive oil available. Usually, this means organic extra-virgin expeller-pressed olive oil.

http://www.care2.com/channels/solutions/self/1000

Adding Class...

I read a great post on adding that little something extra to the way that you dress without spending any money (which is especially good for those of us who are new to the whole homemaker thing). Here is a brief summary of the post:

Add Class to your Wardrobe Without Spending a Dime

1. Remove all Logos. By removing logoed and message clothing from your daily ensembles, you will add much class, taste and a more expensive look to your existing wardrobe.

2. Change your hair accessories. A few accessories are acceptable for everyday use. These are nondescript headbands (tortoise, elastic, accordion), nondescript barrettes (a clamp-style can hold up loose ends, brush back bangs and not take the focus off your entire look. Bobby pins are a must for updos and bangs that are not the right length – keep them hair colored) and maybe a hair-colored or black narrow elastic in your bag for hair emergencies.

3. Untuck the shirt. In this day and age, many tops are not created to be tucked in. Also many of our figures are not flattered with a tucked-in shirt. If you have a bit of a belly, an untucked tailored shirt, polo or sweater can do wonders to camouflages that area without looking messy.

4. Iron your clothes. Seems like a given, but unfortunately we often do not have the time or full-length mirrors to really see what we look like to others. Creased pants will not sort themselves out in the commute to work, and wrinkled blouses from the dryer have a totally different look than shirts that got a bit rumpled through the average day.

5. Protect the midsection. Be you a few pounds overweight and your clothes fitting a bit snugly, or be it you have the most amazing toned six-pack, there is never a reason for an adult to show her belly anywhere but at the beach or pool.

6. Don’t be a slave to fashion. Just because leggings have appeared on the runway after a 20-year hiatus does not mean you need to dash out and purchase a pair.

7. Accept your size. You will be the same shape be you wear a size 8 dress or a 10. A size smaller in a blouse will actually make you look larger. On the other side of the coin, clothing that is too big for your body will make you look misshapen, sloppy and also bigger than you truly are.

8. Check your bag. Is your bag overstuffed? Fraying? Covered with pen marks? If so, you are like many women in America. If you cannot afford a replacement bag, clean the one you currently have, snip any frayed areas with nail scissors and always keep it zipped up and only to 70% capacity at most. This will make your bag look far more polished than when you have a planner, sippy cup, wad of Kleenex and an apple popping out of the main compartment.

9. Chin up. The best way to exude class and style is to have good posture. Chin up, neck elongated, chest out, shoulders back and down. Think about your walk; glide, don’t clop. A graceful walk will make even ratty sweatpants look elegant.

For the full article, check out: http://womanwardrobeneeds.blogspot.com/

Your One-Night-A-Week Beauty Routine (for both housewives and working girls)...

An Excerpt from: The Handbook of Beauty pp. 297-99, 1955

Set aside one evening a week ~ whichever is most convenient, but try to make it the same night every week to fix the habit firmly ~ to do the following beauty chores that don't have to be done more often. Start after dinner. Give yourself plenty of time (at least two hours). Try to avoid interruptions by your family or by friends on the phone.
I'm going to suggest the order in which you can do all these beauty chores. But if you prefer, rearrange the order to suit your own particular tastes. Just make sure you do all the steps listed for a complete feeling of achievement on the road to beauty.
1. Get into the most comfortable old robe you have.
2. IF you have make-up on, remove all traces.
3. Thoroughly cleanse your face (see chapter on skin).
4. Give yourself the tired-eye treatment (see chapter on eyes).
5. Sit in front of a mirror and, for about 15 minutes, experiment with new make-up purchases and new ways of applying your old make-up (see chapter on make-up).
6. Remove all traces of this make-up but keep on the final application of cream you've used to remove it.
7. Do five minutes of facial massage (see chapter on skin).
8. Apply facial mask.
9. While mask is still on, remove old nail polish.
10. Do all steps of your manicure up to but not including the new polish application (see chapter on hands).
11. Remove facial mask.
12. Give yourself the tired-foot treatment (see chapter on feet).
13. Start your pedicure. Do all the steps up to but not including the new polish application, if any (see chapter on feet).
14. Exercise for 15 minutes (see chapter on exercises).
15. Brush hair at least 100 strokes.
16. Shampoo hair (see chapter on hair).
17. Set hair (see chapter on hair).
18. Take a warm "luxury" bath (see chapter on baths).
19. Apply anti-perspirant to underarms (if you use it).
20. Apply toilet water, cologne, or body lotion all over yourself.
21. Finish off with talcum or dusting powder (not, however, if you've used body lotion).
22. Apply polish to toenails.
23. While they're drying, apply polish to fingernails.
24. When fingernails are dry, weigh and measure yourself. Record results on Pages 315 and 316 of this book.
25. Apply emollient cream to area around eyes.
26. IF skin is dry, leave a thin film of the cream all over your face for overnight. If skin is half-and-half, leave a thin film of the cream on dry patches for overnight.
27. Wash and thoroughly dry hands; push back cuticles.
28. Apply hand lotion or cream.
29. Get into bed and lights out.
In addition to the above routine, set aside a shorter time on an evening about three nights later to do the following:
1. Repair manicure.
2. Give your hair a between-shampoo cleansing (see chapter on hair).
3. IF you're over thirty, give yourself a 5-minute facial (see chapter on skin).
4. Check up on your make-up equipment. Wash sponges, puffs, and brushes in soapy warm water.
5. Apply anti-perspirant to your underarms if you perspire profusely as a rule.

Outfitting a Guest Room...

Creating space for guests in your home involves more than providing a comfortable place to sleep; it's an opportunity to make people feel welcome and ensure that their time spent with you is memorable.

Choose the Right Room

Ideally, a guest room is a bedroom with a bathroom attached. It should be inconspicuously placed, so that guests don't need to cross the busiest parts of the house to get to it; for privacy, it shouldn't be next to a child's room.

Decorate Sparingly

In a strange room, comfort and space are more soothing than a clutter of unfamiliar things. On a bedside table, place a single flower bloom in a simple glass, a nice clock, and a selection of books suited to your guest's taste.

Outfit the Bed

Make up a double bed with four ample sleeping pillows, two medium to firm, and two soft, as well as two smaller pillows to prop up the head when reading. Use cotton or linen sheets, starched and ironed for hotel crispness. Provide both light and heavy blankets, as well as a lightweight throw for afternoon naps.

Closets and Drawers

Make sure that there is adequate closet and drawer space. Supply a variety of hanger (at least a dozen good wooden or metal ones) that will hold trousers and jackets, flimsy dresses, and heavy coats. And make certain there is a full-length mirror.

Bathroom Essentials

If the bathroom is shared, clear space in it for toiletries. Stock it with new toothbrushes and toothpaste, a plush robe, and a supply of clean cotton towels (two large bath towels, two face washcloths) for each guest. Supply a few luxuries that one might not find at home: a beautiful soap or an unusual cream, a special shampoo, or a small bottle of perfume or cologne. If your guest has allergies, hypoallergenic soap and moisturizer.

EXTRA COMFORTS

After you've provided the basic necessities, consider some of these extra touches to make guests feel at home.

Sitting Area

Space permitting, set up a comfortable chair or settee with a pillow and throw, an adjacent table, and a good adjustable-brightness lamp. Assemble a small personal library, including some magazines and a daily newspaper (useful for local listings like concerts). A radio for morning news and quiet evening listening is a thoughtful addition; you might also include a portable cassette or CD player with a selection of music.

Desk Supplies

Provide a small desk or a cleared tabletop, and stock it with pens and paper, note cards, envelopes, and stamps. Compile a list of some favorite local places: restaurants, cafes, museums, antiques shops, cinemas and provide timetables, if appropriate, for buses, ferries, or trains. A telephone in the room is a convenience, but not a necessity.

Extra Warmth

If the room has wood floors, place a small rug beside the bed. For visitors during the coldest months, think of providing a hot-water bottle in a soft slipcase- a soothing amenity your guests won't have expected to find.

Food and Drink

Consider your guests food preferences: If one is a vegetarian, or allergic to fish or dairy products, be sure your menus include options and that your pantry and refrigerator are appropriately stocked. Show guests where to find snacks, drinking glasses, and utensils, and encourage them to help themselves. Leave a pitcher of spring water and a glass on the bedside table in the guest room.

**I found these instructions for creating a guest room on Martha Stewart's website. In addition to being helpful in creating the perfect space for guests, I thought that these directions would be helpful in making our bedroom more of a haven. I also liked the fact that if you were to follow these instructions in your bedroom or guest bedroom, all of one's senses would be engaged as the space was enjoyed. This article made me feel like it was time to get busy and create an atmosphere in my home conducive to relaxation, comfort, and security!**

An Excerpt from "The Singing House..."

An Excerpt from The Singing House
By: May Morgan Potter

Fred ate [his breakfast] dutifully and then slipped down from his chair.

‘Now can I go over to Jimmy’s, mother?’ he asked.

‘But Fred,’ I [said], ‘you were over there yesterday and the day before. Why not have Jimmy come here today?’

‘Oh, he wouldn’t want to.’ Fred’s lip quivered in spite of his six years of manhood. ‘Please, mother.’

‘Why do you like Jimmy’s house better than ours, son?’ I pursued. It came to me suddenly that Fred and all his companions were always wanting to go to Jimmy’s house.

‘Why,’ he explained hesitantly, ‘it’s cause—it’s cause Jimmy’s house is a singing house.’

‘A singing house?’ I questioned. ‘Now what do you mean by that?’

‘Well,’ Fred was finding it hard to explain, ‘Jimmy’s mother hums when she sews; and Annie-in-the-kitchen, she sings when she cuts out cookies; and Jimmy’s daddy always whistles when he comes home.’ Fred stopped a moment and added, ‘Their curtains are rolled clear up and there’s flowers in the windows. All the boys like Jimmy’s house, mother.’

‘You may go, son,’ I said quickly. I wanted him out of the way so I could think.

I looked around my house. Everyone told me how lovely it was. There were oriental rugs. We were paying for them on installments. . . . We were paying for the overstuffed furniture and the car that way, also. Perhaps that was why Fred’s daddy didn’t whistle when he came in the house. . . .

I . . . went over to Jimmy’s house, even if it was ten o’clock and Saturday morning. It came to me that Mrs. Burton would not mind being interrupted in the middle of the morning. She never seemed to be in a hurry. She met me at the door with a towel around her head.

‘Oh, come in. I have just finished [cleaning] the living room. No indeed, you are not interrupting. I’ll just take off this headdress and be right in.’

While I waited, I looked around. The rugs were almost threadbare; the curtains . . . tied back; the furniture, old and scarred. . . . A table with a bright cover held a number of late magazines. In the window were hanging baskets of ivy . . . , while a bird warbled from his cage hanging in the sun. Homey, that was the effect.

The kitchen door was open and I saw Jerry, the baby, sitting on the clean linoleum, watching Annie as she pinched together the edges of an apple pie. She was singing. . . .

Mrs. Burton came in smiling. ‘Well,’ she asked, ‘what is it? For I know you came for something; you are such a busy woman.’

‘Yes,’ I said abruptly, ‘I came to see what a singing house is like.’

Mrs. Burton looked puzzled. ‘Why, what do you mean?’

‘Fred says he loves to come here because you have a singing house. I begin to see what he means.’

‘What a wonderful compliment!’ Mrs. Burton’s face flushed. ‘But of course my house doesn’t compare with yours. Everyone says you have the loveliest house in town.’

‘But it isn’t a singing house,’ I objected. . . . ‘Tell me how you came to have one.’

‘Well,’ smiled Mrs. Burton, ‘if you really want to know. You see, John doesn’t make much. I don’t think he ever will. He isn’t the type. We have to cut somewhere, and we decided on noon-essentials. . . . There are books, magazines, and music. . . . These are things the children can keep inside. They can’t be touched by fire or [financial problems] so we decided they were essentials. Of course good wholesome food is another essential. . . . The children’s clothes are very simple. . . . But when all these things are paid for, there doesn’t seem to be much left for rugs and furniture. . . . We don’t go into debt if we can avoid it. . . . [however] We are happy’, she concluded.

‘I see,’ I said thoughtfully. I looked over at Jerry and Fred in the corner. They had manufactured a train out of match boxes and were loading it with wheat. They were scattering it a good deal, but wheat is clean and wholesome.

I went home. My oriental rugs looked faded. I snapped my curtains to the top of the windows, but the light was subdued as it came through the silken draperies. . . . [My house] was not a singing house. I determined to make it sing.

Feminine Frugal Friday Tips...

I found these great ideas for inexpensive beauty solutions at this website: http://beauty.iloveindia.com

I found this article to be especially good:

"You don't have to spend big bucks to get beauty treatments commercially. A little care at home can help you to attain that glamorous finished look at home, quite frugally. For a hydrating treatment for your hands while doing your dishes in the kitchen, cover your hands with a thick layer of lotion and wear latex cleaning gloves. The warm dishwater helps you to get the deep lotion treatment while gloves provide insulation of heat. Repeat it once or twice per week to get beautiful soft hands. Exfoliation to remove dead skin from your body and face can be done with a lot of things available in our kitchens. Pamper yourself with ground almond or be more economical by using cornmeal or a mix of grapefruit and salt or vinegar with some lemon juice in it.

Milk bath strewn with rose petals worked for Cleopatra so there seems to be no reason that it will not do the same for you. Mix half cup of milk powder with your bath water and see the difference. To keep your face naturally beautiful and free of any common skin problems, splash your face with warm water and massage it with a tablespoon of honey, which is antibacterial in nature, once or twice per week. Rinse your face well with warm water. You can also use plain yogurt instead of honey, which works as an exfoliant and its lactic acid dissolves dead skin cells. Prepare a mixture of ½ cup olive oil, ¼ cup vinegar and ¼ cup water to substitute your night cream. Oliver oil serves as a moisturizer and revitalizes skin while vinegar takes care of bacteria, dead skin cells and skin discolorations.

Olive oil is also an effective cleansing cream for dry skin, softens the skin and gets absorbed better than baby oil. Do not waste any leftover olive oil or that has been dripped over. Use your fingers to wipe it off and rub it on your elbows. Tone your skin using witch hazel that you can buy for pennies. It can work as an effective aftershave for your husband too! The best and most inexpensive way to keep your skin healthy and glowing is to drink several glasses of water a day as it helps your body to flush away any impurities.

Instead of freaking over any freckles or aging signs that you can spot over your face and rushing off to costly beauty clinics, try fading them away with lemon juice instead. For scrubbing, rub olive oil over your body after the bath and then scrub sugar on the body until it melts. Then wash it away with water. It is quite effective for face and hands too. Look younger by preparing a mixture with equal parts of onion juice and vinegar and rubbing it over any aging signs daily. However, it takes few weeks to achieve the desired results.

For filling up dry and cracked calluses on your hand and feet, use olive oil mixed with melted beeswax. Cover them up with cotton gloves or socks respectively. Spices and essential oils added to your bath water can make you fragrant for a long time. Frugal hair care ideas include adding a two spoonfuls of baking soda in your shampoo once a week to remove styling product build-ups and using mayonnaise or raw eggs as a hair conditioner. To bleach your hair, you can use lemon juice while olive oil works as an effective hair conditioner and gets rid of the frizz. A quarter cup of vinegar mixed with three quarters of a cup of warm water is a great rinser and makes your hair soft and shiny. We have even found out that a daily soak in burdock tea will stop hair loss!"

To My Readers...

If you would like your blog's link to appear on my sidebar, please drop me a comment and I would be happy to update my blog listing to include it!

When French Women Bake...

…they turn classic desserts into seductive treats worth rediscovering. How do they do it? Dorie Greenspan knows their secrets.

Here are some of the reasons I think French women are worthy of admiration (okay, envy): They can negotiate cobblestone streets in stilettos; get a smile out of snooty waiters in chic cafés; tie scarves without benefit of mirrors or handbooks from either Hermès or the Boy Scouts; and hold down demanding jobs while married with kids and still never be seen tossing out the trash in anything less attractive than Chloe jeans, a little cashmere tee, and just enough Chanel blush to fool anyone into believing they're either fully made-up or healthier-looking than any busy person has the right to seem.

And, they can cook.

In the seven years I've lived in Paris, I've yet to meet a woman who can't cook or who, at the very least, can't talk a good game of food. Even women who say they don't cook much still know the addresses of the best butchers, bakers, and, yes, if not candlestick makers, then makers of candles. For sure, they own a shopping basket and pull it out a couple of times a week when they go to the outdoor market in their neighborhood — even now-and-then cooks must have a regular supply of freshly made goat cheese and a stash of oil-cured olives.

And those women who do cook really cook, and cook really often, not just for family because they must, but for friends because they want to. I've never been invited to so many dinner parties, cocktail parties, and Sunday lunches that stretch into dinner (one came dangerously close to ending in time for a midnight snack). Few of these were planned much in advance, many were on "school nights," and all of them were fun, because there was plenty of good food and wine and lively conversation.

How do they do it?

I've spent a lot of time thinking about this and have come to the conclusion that les Françaises don't know anything we don't already know. The big difference is, they actually do what we all know is smart: They keep it simple, while we Americans — especially we Americans in Paris working to live up to the culinary standards of our adopted country — are always trying to do just a little more. Particularly when it comes to dessert. And here, I speak from experience.

Let me back up a bit and tell you about the first dinner party I had in my Paris apartment. Call me neurotic, but no sooner had I invited everyone over than I began to feel responsible for producing a dinner that would bring glory to America's reputation for gracious living and measure up to whatever expectations I imagined my French friends had of me as "a food person." Quel pressure!

So, I knocked myself out. I had Champagne and piping-hot little homemade cheese puffs to welcome my guests, and I finished, four courses and 18 wineglasses-to-wash later, with a sleek, dark, dark chocolate cake layered with a fresh raspberry and chocolate ganache and topped with an all-chocolate ganache. In a French meal, the main course is called le plat de résistance, and it's meant to be the biggest deal in the lineup. But I was pinning my hopes for hosannas on dessert — and I got a pretty great response, which at a Paris dinner party means a lot of ooh-la-la-ing. I got enough ooh-la-las to mention, as casually as possible, that I'd made the cake myself. You could have knocked me over with a cream puff when the first words out of a friend's mouth were, "Why'd you do it? I mean, it's great, but cakes like this are the reason pastry shops were invented.

"There was the key: French women leave fancy restaurant food to fancy restaurants and fancy desserts to the pâtisseries.

Of course. Had I thought back to the desserts I'd been served over the years at French friends' homes, I'd have seen the keep-it-simple rule played to the max. No matter how chic the hostess, her homemade dessert invariably looked as rustic as if it had come from a farmhouse grand-mère. And at some point it probably had, since the majority of desserts my friends make are drawn from a repertoire of home-baking recipes that includes standards like rice pudding, tarte Tatin, quatre-quarts (the French version of pound cake), chocolate cakes in simple round layers and long loaves, mousses of many flavors, and hundreds more — among them the six recipes here that have become my own keep-it-simple classics.

The recipes are often centuries old, with techniques French women learned from their mothers, who learned them from their mothers, back through generations. In fact, the recipes are so true and so tried, many French women make them without recipes, or au pif. (I love the sound of this expression — oh peef; literally, it means "by nose," but it's used for stuff you just do, by second nature, feel, or guesswork. In cooking, it's often a case of a-little-of-this-and-a-little-of-that.) My first far Breton, a custardy prune cake, was made au pif by a young French woman staying with us in New York. Au pif is also the way lots of seasonal fruit tarts are made and why they are often nothing more than crust, a layer of ground nuts or some crumbled stale cake, and sliced fruit sprinkled with sugar and dotted with bits of butter.

Since it took me years to perfect my own tart crusts, seeing tart after perfectly crusted tart served by endless French hostesses — even those who said they hardly ever cook, let alone bake — just made me even more convinced that my Gallic friends are goddesses. What it should have made me was suspicious! While I was ready to believe that every French woman was born with the scarf gene, I should have been a little less likely to accept that they had a crust gene, too. What they actually have that most of us don't are grocery stores offering cut-to-size, impeccably rolled-out all-butter crusts — pâte brisée for quiches, sweet pâte sablée for tarts, and puff pastry for everything from savory canapés to those tarte Tatins my friends turn out au pif.

In Paris, stores are filled with high-quality ready-to-pretend-they're-your-own products — and French women have no compunctions about using them. Although, just as with fashion, mixing it up is key. Only runway models wear head-to-toe Dior (stylish mortals add something from Gap) and only pros or not-so-very-assured hostesses make everything haute and from scratch.

The really stylish French hostess will mix store-bought with handmade for dessert and do it judiciously and with flair. Like my friend Paule Caillat, who teaches French cooking to Americans visiting Paris, many of my friends make excellent pear tarts, a true classic, using homemade almond cream for the filling and premium canned pears for the fruit; but, unlike Paule, many of my friends never fess up. (Which might explain why French women look so good at the trash bins — they go minutes before their guests arrive, so they can ditch all "incriminating" evidence.)

The same air of mystery can waft around the simplest desserts, the way it seemed to when my dear friend Martine just smiled after I'd complimented her on her chocolate mousse. It was perfect — dark, rich, not so light that it was unsatisfying, not so dense that it was puddingish — so I asked for the recipe. Martine, normally accommodating and always super-efficient, could never seem to get around to giving it to me, though I nagged her for weeks. Finally, she turned it over at the end of a meal at which I, a friend of 30 years, was the only non-family member. She took me aside, handed me a bar of Nestlé chocolate, and told me she used the recipe on the back of the wrapper.

When her cousin heard Martine's admission, she clapped her hands gleefully and said, "I never knew you used that recipe! I use it all the time, but I add grated orange zest to it." Then an aunt piped in and said, "I add coffee — but I thought I was the only one who used that recipe. I didn't know you used it, too." To which Martine replied, "Why would I mention it?"

Add to the growing list of qualities I admire in French women — the fact that they can really keep a secret.

— By Dorie Greenspan, Bon Appétit, February 2005Note: For the author's classic recipes visit: www.epicurious.com/bonappetit/desserts/french_women

French Paradox...

Everything in France improves with age- the wine, the perfume, even the women. A quintessential Frenchwoman reveals the reasons.

Frenchwomen are maddening and captivating in equal measure. The drink wine, smoke Gauloise, wear the same clothes every other day, and still manage to be the most stylish of creatures. They even age well, looking poetic, not haggard. Mireille Guiliano, author of French Women Don't Get Fat (Knopft), explains the mysteries of that other annoying and enviable French paradox.

KEEP IT SIMPLE "It's not true that the French never get old- we just age differently than other women by following a few basic rules. My mother has great skin, but she never baked in the sun. And she told me that no matter how tired you are or when you go to bed, you must remove your makeup. It make a huge difference if you do this consistently.

The French are very, very, big on creams- we have ones for our face, hands, and feet. A lifetime of moisturizing gives you the skin of a baby. Anti-aging creams don't work miracles, but we wear them to soften our skin and to feel good- to treat our skin with a little TLC. In fact, the French government actually pays for older women to go to the spa once a year. We go for two or three weeks, drink the water, and relax; it's a detox and cleansing process called thalassotherapy. The French take more opportunity to unwind; we feel that leisure time is important.

As for products, I have friends in the States whom I adore, but I can't believe their bathrooms. They have 50 bottles of perfumes, 25 different soaps. The French select a few items and keep their beauty routine simple. In my cabinet, I have five products: makeup remover, toner, night cream, gel for my lips and eyes- I often dab on Vaseline- and a daytime moisturizer with sunscreen. What more do you need?"

CUT TO THE CHASE "Having nice hair is very important to Frenchwomen. A color that is slightly lighter than your natural shade softens your face. It's a little trick... But the color must work with your skin tone or you'll look washed out, like an aspirin pill.Frenchwomen tend to have long hair when they're young; then, as they grow older, shorter hair gives a better line to the face, a sharper profile."

DON"T CONFORM "After a certain point, plastic surgery turns your face into a mask. The French are very sarcastic about that- to us, that's very boring. Where's your personality? Beauty is about finding a balance, about being attractive and individualistic. Among my friends, no one uses Botox, and it's not something we discuss. Who likes to think about wrinkles and aging?"

JUST RELAX "Agonizing over your appearance is counterproductive- that's when you start to notice that you have wrinkles, or that your hair is changing color. I'd rather sleep an extra fifteen minutes. Skin ages; it's a fact of life. You can try not to abuse it, not to smoke, and not to drink too much. But don't obsess. As my grandmother used to say, it's your smile, your attitude, and your posture that make you beautiful. Be interesting, and if you are comfortable in your skin, you will reflect that."

- Kari Molvar Allure (April 2006)

"It's not about you. Others are more important."
~Baroness Ella van Heemstra Hepburn-Ruston, Audrey Hepburn's mother

Have any of you read the book "How to be a Lady?" I saw it on the Vision Forum website and think that we might like to purchase it. If you've read it, please let me know what you think! Here is a little blurb from the website on the book:

“What you are while you are a girl, you will be when you become a woman.” Somewhere within the recesses of every girl’s heart is the desire to act, and be treated, as a lady. But a true lady is more than just graceful and feminine; she has a Christ-centered character that regulates her inner thoughts and motives, as well as her outward graces. In this book, originally published in 1850, extraordinarily practical wisdom is offered to young girls in the practice of developing womanly character. The girl’s equivalent to Thoughts for Young Men, this book is excellent for mothers and daughters and a must-read for every young lady-in-training!

Becoming a Feminine Lady...

I have been thinking a lot about guiding little girls in becoming feminine ladies... especially my little girl. I began thinking about this because of a conversation I had with my father-in-law and my mother-in law. My husband's father and I were discussing how excited we were about seeing the baby with bows and barrettes in her hair (when she gets some!). I expressed how much I enjoy dressing her up in little jumpers, tights, and other girly items. My father-in-law thought that this was great, but my mother -in-law wasn't so sure. She felt that doing this would "force" E. into becoming a girly-girl. "What if she wants to be a tomboy and isn't interested in wearing things like that or doing her hair?" I had no answer to her query.

What would I do if my daughter didn't enjoy being feminine? Though some may doubt what I am going to say next, I feel very strongly about the topic. I think that little girls have an inborn desire to be feminine and that they need to be encouraged to develop that femininity completely. Many women today (including my mother-in-law) weren't trained up in a way that honored the God-given roles of masculinity and femininity. I feel that it is my job as a mother to cultivate these tendencies in my children! Though it will be a hard task, I am excited to try! Please let me know if you have any hints for us!

Suggestions for Fun and Feminine Exercise...

Wear a pedometer to measure the miles or steps you take in a day. Try to increase how much you walk each day.

Borrow different exercise videos from the Library or from friends. Once you find type of exercise that you like, invest in a few DVDs for yourself and use them frequently.

Spend time taking walks, hikes, or bike rides.

Go the extra "mile:" park your car farther away from entrances, walk to get the paper or pick up the mail, or even put on some music and take a twirl around your kitchen!

Play games from your youth: hopscotch, jumping jacks, hop on one foot as long as possible, or run sprints.

Play sports like tennis, badminton, basketball, or ping pong.

Lace up your roller skates or ice skates.

Jump rope.

Play tag, hide-and-seek or manhunt.

Take an exercise class.

Get an exercise partner for taking walks, going to the gym, etc.

Bat a balloon around and try not to let it hit the floor.

Photo Courtesy of Jack Mulqueeney.

Adios Debra Barone... Hello Donna Reed!

Where have all the good television shows gone? I would love to watch a feminine role model light up the t.v. screen one evening a week! It would be grand to see a woman supporting her husband rather than tearing him down or working on improving herself rather than trying to justify her questionable actions. Thank goodness for d.v.d.'s!

Feminine Finances...

One of the traits that I think every feminine woman should aspire to acquire is the ability to be a good steward of money. This is something that I have struggled with ever since I was a child with an allowance.

When I was a single woman going through college and I worked as a waitress, spending money didn't matter too much. The only bill I had was for car insurance. Once I completed college and became a teacher, I had an income that I was free to do whatever I wanted with. I didn't save at all and bought treats for myself, John, and my family all of the time. After getting married, I was still working and though we were far from rich, my husband and I were able to live very well.

Now that I am staying at home with our daughter and my husband is supporting us financially in an increasingly expensive world, I have begun to realize I am too frivolous with our money. Though I don't make large purchases, all of the little things I "need" add up quickly. When I saw the spread sheet Microsoft Money spit out of our October expenditures, my heart fell to the floor... My household purchases were triple what they were supposed to be.

I am now going to be writing down each item I buy (with the exception of groceries) in a little notebook I keep in my handbag with the hope that I can begin training myself to eliminate frivolous spending. I am going to try to spend as little as possible for the next ten days. Please say a little prayer that I can be more mindful and more feminine when it comes to managing money for my family.

On My Wish List...

Awhile ago, I posted about wearing pretty nightgowns. Since that blog entry, I have been searching online and in stores for the "perfect" nightgown. Here it is! I found it at Dillard's online store and it is just what I was hoping for! It even has a matching robe! This set is a bit pricey... so it will either have to be a Christmas gift (hint, hint, husband:) ) or I will have to start saving up my housekeeping money for it. Either way, I am keeping my fingers crossed that Dillard's will have a sleepwear sale soon!

Vintage Rules for Married Life...

While reading all of the blog posts I've missed this past week (we were away on a Thanksgiving break), I came across this little gem at Anna's Pleasant View School House:

http://pleasantviewschoolhouse.blogspot.com/2006/11/vintage-rules-for-married-life.html11/vintage-rules-for-married-life.html

I've even gone so far as to write up my own Rules for Married Life to keep in my notebook. What Rules do you follow?

The 50 Percent Solution...

Here is an excerpt from Mireille Guiliano's latest book, French Woman For All Seasons: A Year of Secrets, Recipes, and Pleasure. I found this part of the book to be the more helpful and easy to implement in my life. I have been trying to mindfully follow the 50 Percent Solution each time I eat. I have noticed that I no longer feel stuffed once we leave the table... now, if only I can be this disciplined at our Thanksgiving meal!

The 50 Percent Solution

"If, as one critic commented on French Women Don't Get Fat, it's "all about portion size" - it's not, really, but if - then change indeed is a tall order. It's generally known that Americans on average eat 10 to 30 percent more than we need to every day. This is not such a surprising result of an increasingly knowledge-based economy, in which jobs of many individuals involve sitting all day. It is simple deductive reasoning to connect this situation with the fact that Americans are also on average 30 percent above their ideal weight. It was a sixteenth century Frenchman, Montaigne, who rightly observed that gluttony is that source of all our infirmities. In the land where there's honor in being able to eat the most hot dogs, what is one to do?

Portion control is more and art than a discipline, one grounded in a useful bit of self-deception. I have written about the power of incrementalism, cutting back portions over weeks and months as you introduce new variety. Though very simple, the method sometimes requires a scale and can be a bit too unstructured for some.

One trick I use to control my intake is to ask myself if I can live with half the amount being offered; indeed, will I be just as happy eating half as much? I put this approach into play in a variety of different ways, from splitting dessert with my husband to counting the number of pieces of bread I eat at a restaurant (Bread is one of my "offenders," a food I'm particularly vulnerable to overeating, and I can mindlessly eat three or four slices if i don't pay attention.) I use this simple alternative regularly, especially when not sure about the "hidden" ingredients of what I've been served or when the portion I've been offered is obviously large. I eat half. Slowly, of course, chewing well. I then ask myself whether I'm content, and therefore whether continuing would be a matter of pleasure or merely routine."

"Often I do continue eating, but I have only half of the half that's left. Then, after pausing, I consider half of what's left again. Edward calls this my Zeno's Paradox of portion control. To paraphrase the ancient principle, if you continue eating only half of what's on your plate each time, you will never eat the whole thing. That's a theoretical explanation. I'm content to call it the 50 Percent Solution and think more practically about why it works. The act of stopping and reflecting slows down consumption, allowing the brain to catch up with the stomach and release the hormone that tells us, "Mmm, that was good, but I've had enough." Contentment is largely a matter of the clock - not how much you ingest but also what you've eaten during a given interval.

If you implement the 50 Percent Solution routinely, your sense of a satisfying portion is bound to shrink. I've been doing ti so long it even works on a banana."

Painting: Picking Fruit By Georges Lemmen

Teaching Our Daughters to be Ladies...

This blog entry was featured on the Ladies Against Feminism website recently. I found it to be extremely inspiring! I hope that you enjoy it as much as I did!

http://makinghome.blogspot.com/2006/10/teaching-our-daughters-to-be-ladies.html

Painting: Girl with Lilac

Sophie Anderson

Looking Better when Under the Weather...

Look Better Than You Feel:

• De Puff with the Right Stuff - To deflate your face, massage in moisturizer with upward strokes to encourage circulation and drain fluid. Use tea bags (brewed, then cooled) as eye compresses for five to ten minutes (chamomile tea works well).
  
  
• Fake Looking Awake - To mask dark circles, you need a yellowish concealer, slightly lighter than your normal skin tone - but not just under the eyes: lids, the hollow above them and the inner corners by your nose are key. To add sparkle, dust shimmery, white based shadow around entire eye; use grey or taupe line on top lids for soft definition. Curling your lashes and using clear mascara can help you look extra alert, as will a whitening solution (Visine) to help with bloodshot eyes.
  
• Get a Healthy Glow - To turn a sick, pasty complexion into a model of radiance, use cream blush, not powder. Go with bright tones (red, pink) rather than murky ones (plum, brown), and rub it in evenly on the apples of cheeks, temples, and your chin. If you have a cold, you can hide a Rudolph nose with concealer (moisturize first). Chapped lips? Exfoliate with a toothbrush and use gloss to minimize the appearance of dry, flaky skin.
• Use Clothes as a Camouflage - Avoid wearing colors that echo the same ones you are trying to downplay. If your nose is red, don't wear a red sweater. If you're hiding dark circles, stay away from black or navy. A touch of white always lightens the face, so try a v-neck sweater with a white tee or collar peeking out, a white turtleneck, or a small, white scarf.

-Taken from an article by Nathalie Zimmerman. Mademoiselle. January 1999.

For some great ideas on making your little one feel better, visit Anna's blog and this entry:

http://pleasantviewschoolhouse.blogspot.com/2006/11/comfort-for-sick-babies.html

Quote...

"...but you know, I've noticed that when I made changes to the outside, changes on the inside (which are way more important) soon followed... Oh, and I think it's very important to point out that femininity isn't about sitting around in a pretty outfit and doing nothing. Oh no, the feminine woman makes it her mission in life to serve God and serve her family. I have found that it's the little touches that make something 'feminine'."

-Mrs. B

The Be Not Conformed Blog

Femininity Challenge - Friday...

The baby and I enjoyed a nice trip to the library this morning! After looking around at the books and spending some time with Sophie (the resident turtle), the baby fell asleep in her carrier and I was able to flip through a few decorating books and then read some magazines! It was a lot of fun to see the different things that people can do to their homes... especially when they do it on a budget. I was really inspired by what I read!

Among the books that I decided to check out were a few DVDs - The Law of Attraction (with Julianne Moore), Dial "M" for Murder (with Grace Kelly), and "The Buccaneers (Based on Edith Wharton's Book). It seems like all of the movies have beautiful wardrobes... interestingly enough, they are from all different time periods! I am hoping that I will get some feminine inspiration from all three!

Femininity Challenge - Thursday

Yesterday was a good day for feminine pursuits in our house! The baby and I enjoyed a shopping trip to Walmart where we bought some necessities as well as some frivolities: She got two little cotton hats to keep her bald head warm and her mama got a bath pillow for the tub and a very pale shade of pink nail polish to paint her nails.

On our way home, we stopped at our local health food store for a few things and finally, we popped into the children's bookshop located next door. Though we were just supposed to window shop, I couldn't resist "Peek-a-boo! (http://www.amazon.com/Peek-Boo-Board-Allan-Ahlberg/dp/0670871923/sr=1-1/qid=1163802264/ref=pd_bbs_1/002-5959158-0812857?ie=UTF8&s=books)." My mom had a copy for us when we were children and I absolutely love the illustrations!

After putting the baby to bed, I spent some time relaxing, picking up the house, and painting my nails. It is a nice feeling to have them done! I feel very glamorous!

Illusion...

Visit Be Not Conformed for a terrific post on keeping it real:

http://be-not-conformed.blogspot.com/2006/11/illusion.html

Femininity Challenge - Wednesday...

Today I did something a little different with my hair. I began styling it by giving it a thorough brushing and then used a large barreled curling iron to smooth it out and give the ends a bit of "oomph." Once this was done, I separated the top half of my hair and twisted it into a bun. I left the bottom half of my hair down. It seems like a nice hairstyle and I may do it that way again... especially if Baby sleeps in a few extra minutes like she did this morning!

Femininity Challenge - Tuesday...

Today was a very busy day for me! I cleaned most of the house - our bedroom and bathroom with have to wait until tomorrow - and did a lot of cooking and baking.

Here are some of the feminine things that I have accomplished today:

1. I wrote some favorite recipes down on pretty recipe cards... they had previously been printed from the computer and looked messy sticking out all over the place in my recipe box.

2. I took my time when eating today: I tried to take small bites and I ate slowly. With a baby that seems to fuss as soon as we sit down to eat, I've been wolfing down my food... I will try to do this no more! After all, microwaves were invented to reheat Mama's food!

3. I lit my Autumn Wreath candles in the family room.

I have been perusing your blogs and have been very inspired by what you are all doing! I am sorry that I have not commented... I have wanted to very much, by my husband has had a lot of work to do on the computer (he was up until 2 am last night) and so my time on-line is limited... Tomorrow will be better!

Femininity Challenge - Monday...

Yesterday was a bit cloudy with rain showers off and on, but that didn't deter me from taking the baby for a long Fall walk. As we ambled along the roads around our home, the smells of a cool, autumn day were all around us. Someone was warding off the chill by using their fireplace and we enjoyed the scent. We were so worn out by our walk, that we took a catnap once we returned.

As far as domestic femininity is concerned, I have been trying to prepare colorful and filling meals. Last night's dinner was mozzarella crusted chicken, sweet potatoes, buttered peas, and cranberry sauce. We enjoyed eating it at a nicely set table! I hope that I can keep this up when Lent arrives tomorrow!

I have been trying to give myself a spritz of my favorite honeysuckle perfume each day... It is nice to smell that springtime fragrance every so often.

I forgot to mention that I successfully wore my 'church' clothes all day on Sunday... that was a feat for me because I love cuddling up in warm slob clothes (as my dad calls them) on rainy days.

Timeless and Universal Principles of Dress...

While perusing Elizabeth's blog, I came across her recent entry on Timeless and Universal Principles of Dress... I think that you will enjoy reading it as much as I did!

http://elizabeth-themerryrose.blogspot.com/2006/11/timeless-and-universal-principles-of.html#links

Femininity Challenge - Sunday...

Today has been a gloriously rainy day! After church, my husband had a parish council meeting scheduled. Though it took a bit more time than we expected, it was well worth it... many things were resolved and Father John is happy and very hopeful!

Once we came home, we had a lunch of ham sandwiches and watched an episode of the PBS show, Manor House. Before the baby and I went to take an afternoon nap, I decided to make two steaming cups of hot chocolate. I topped each with baby marshmallows and we drank them right down! This delicious drink looked great in our white mugs... I think that this just might be a new Sunday afternoon treat for our little family!

Femininity Challenge...

For the next week (Sunday, November 12th - Saturday, November 18th), I will be participating in this blog's first challenge! Each day, I will be trying to make things around me more feminine! I will take pictures of what I do and post them - along with a description. I think that it would be terrific if the readers of this blog were to join in! Here are the rules:

• Anything can be made more feminine: your outfit, your home, your car, your yard, your cooking, etc.


• It has to be more than what you always do... for example, if you always wear your hair femininely, it won't work for the challenge. However, if you always wear your hair in a ponytail and you add a fancy clip or bow, it counts.

I can't wait to see what we all come up with!

Embracing Femininity Through Touch...

Here are some things that we can do to improve the feminine touch of things:

Wear clothing that is touchable. Some great fabrics are: soft and crisp cottons, soft or fine woolens, and anything soft, silky, and womanly.


Be sure to apply lotion to your skin daily to prevent roughness.

Use conditioner in your hair to promote soft, silky strands.

Add texture to your decorating by using soft blankets, throw pillows, and other linens.

Be sure to keep surfaces in your home clean and dust free.

Use fabric softener or dryer sheets when doing laundry.

Wear soft slippers around your home during the day to keep your toes pampered and warm.

Use baskets of different weaves to hold odds and ends around your home.

Keep fluffy towels in your kitchen and bathroom.

Just as your husband gets into the shower on a cold day, toss his towel into the dryer so that it is toasty when he's ready to use it.

After going for a long walk, enjoy a hot beverage or an icy cold one... depending on the weather.

Take a cat nap in the sun and feel the warm sun on your skin.

Take a long, luxurious bath complete with bubbles or bath oils.

Give yourself a manicure and pedicure.

Exfoliate your lips and use a lip balm to help them stay soft.

Be gentle.

Learn to move more slowly, elegantly, and purposefully.

Walk in a light graceful manner.

Practice feminine facial expressions.

Keep your legs smooth by shaving or waxing frequently.

What are your Christmas traditions?

We have a couple of traditions:

We celebrate St. Nicholas Day (December 6th). The night before, children put out their shoes and during the night, St. Nicholas puts treats in each shoe (sort of like a Christmas Stocking). In addition to the treats, we are going to buy our children their "Christmas" shoes and those will be put out instead of shoes they already own.

We have also decided to purchase one ornament for our tree each year... since this will be our second Christmas, we only have one so far. I think that we're going to get the star for the top of the tree this year because it is our first Christmas with the baby. We compensate for the lack of ornaments by using a TON of lights on the tree.

I'm also going to try to put out one decoration each day leading up to Christmas. I'll start small on the 15th of November (which is the start of Lent (Advent) for Orthodox Christians) and build up as Christmas draws near.

Advice: Part Two...

Thank you for all your comments on yesterday's post! Though the beginning of this quote speaks about giving advice to men, the part that really spoke to me was the bit about the responsibility that one takes on when giving advice to others. It is so easy to rattle off whatever I think to another without really thinking about what I'm saying or the consequences that my words may bring. It almost reminds me of Jane Austen's "Emma."

The Gathering Storm...

This past Sunday, my husband and I watched a DVD that we really enjoyed. Apart from being the well-written story about Churchill and the months leading up to England's entry into WWII, it was marvelously acted.

The highlight of this movie for me, however, was the costumes! They were absolutely lovely! One of my favorite outfits was worn by one of the younger actresses while she was walking in a garden... it included a chic skirt and green galoshes!

Advice...

"Always ask a man for his advice but never give him yours - unless he asks for it and unless it concerns such minor questions as interior decoration, etiquette, or what to wear... Don't forget that giving advice means undertaking to influence the course of destiny of another person and to commit yourself to seeing that it succeeds. Women who give advice irresponsibly are just as reprehensible as people who sign bad cheques."

Genevieve Antoine Dariaux

The Men in Your Life: Timless Advice and Wisdom on Managing the Opposite Sex

1968

Unmentionables...

"... it is still to a woman's advantage to give as much thought to undressing as she does to dressing... Even though a woman's lingerie may be reduced to two pieces, they should at least be matching. It is the height of negligence to wear a white brassiere with black pants or the reverse. Bright-coloured undergarments are charming, but of course they can only be worn under dresses which are opaque or dark. In the summer it is preferable to stick to white."

Genevieve Antoine Dariaux

A Guide to Elegance: For Every Woman Who Wants to be Well and Properly Dressed on all Occasions

As I am now nursing Baby (and plan to for awhile), I have decided to invest in at least two sets of well-made (and properly fitting) undergarments. I have been making due with an ill-fitting brassiere from Target and mis-matched pants from who-knows-where. Before becoming pregnant and beginning to nurse, I enjoyed wearing matching sets that were feminine and pretty. I am determined to find similar items that suit my needs now!

Embracing Femininity Through Scent...

Here are some things that we can do to improve the feminine scent of things:

Pick a special scent and be sure to wear it each day.

Spritz paper with your favorite perfume.


Follow this simple recipe to make your home smell delicious:

1 1/2 cups cinnamon sticks broken into 1/2-inch chunks
1/2 cup allspice
1/2 cup whole cloves
1/2 cup dried bay leaves, broken slightly
1/4 cup dried rosemary leaves
1/4 cup dried orange peel in 1/2-inch chunks


To use: Bring 2 cups of water to a boil in a small saucepan. Add 2 tablespoons potpourri, and lower heat to a simmer. Add water as needed. You can simmer the potpourri for a short time and reuse it later if you store it in the refrigerator between uses. Makes enough for thirty uses.(http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1216/is_n6_v193/ai_16506086)


Bake bread or a batch of cookies.


Light scented candles throughout your home... especially in you bedrooms and bathrooms.


Choose a favorite shampoo and conditioner and enjoy the scent as your wash your hair .


Arrange a vase full of fragrant flowers.


Place pots of herbs on your kitchen windowsill and enjoy their fragrance and use in your cooking.


Purchase household cleaners that clean well and also smell great!


Be sure to wash and air out your household linens frequently.


Throw open the windows in the house an car upon occasion.


Go for long, rambling walks and enjoy the seasonal scents.


After eating a citrus fruit, toss the peels down the garbage disposal to freshen it up.


Enjoy scented bubble baths.


Put an air freshener into your car.


Use scented drawer liners.


Hang a bunch of lavender wrapped with ribbon in your closet to keep away odors and moths.


Place bowls of potpourri around the house.


Spritz a bit of card stock with perfume and tuck it into your handbag.


Put sachets into the linen closet and your lingerie drawer for a delicate fragrance.

French Hot Chocolate...

Break a favorite brand of chocolate bar into squares. Melt them in a saucepan on low heat. Add whole milk slowly while stirring. Simmer gently for five minutes. Whisk before serving. Alternative: Add half the amount of whole milk. Once the hot chocolate is poured into your cup, add homemade whipped cream to finish it off. Garnish with chocolate shavings before serving.

Embracing Femininity Through Sight...

Here are some things that we can do to improve the feminine look of things:

Keep a tidy and well organized home.

Wear feminine clothing that a man would not be caught dead in.

Be sure to be as well groomed as possible.

Improve your mind through reading.

Work to make your movements feminine and delicate.

Try to see the good in everything.

Add a touch of elegance and beauty to your daily routines.

Keep a journal of all that you are thankful for and read it when you feel blue.

Learn to improve your penmanship and begin collecting special stationary so that you can write real letters to your loved ones.

Begin to work towards becoming more active and fit.

Educate yourself on the art of applying makeup and arranging your hair.

Bestow a lovely smile upon all you meet.

Improve your disposition, making it as cheerful and loving as possible.

Be sure to emanate a calm, quiet air.

Be as creative and thoughtful as possible when it comes to doing mundane things.

Decide on a signature... perhaps you always use white satin ribbon to wrap around your gifts or maybe you write letters on violet colored paper.

Learn what it means to be refined and work to make this a part of your interaction with others.

Let go of bitterness.

Try to learn a new skill or art as frequently as you can.

Look to the past to show you how feminine women lived. Use this knowledge as inspiration.