Friday, October 20

Beauty Rituals...

After writing last night's post, I went upstairs to get ready for bed. My husband and I are lucky enough to have a bedroom that has a master bathroom attached to it. As I brushed my teeth, I realized that I did not shut the door to the bathroom. Though I wasn't doing anything private (like going to the bathroom), I was primping and I remembered a time not too long ago that I hid all of my beauty rituals from my husband. We were newlyweds and I wanted him to think that my breath always smelled minty, that my hair was always smooth and shiny, that my skin was always soft and fragrant...

We have not been married that long (only about one year and four months)... and I still want there to be a bit of mystery that surrounds me! I am not a raving beauty, but I want my husband to believe that I am well-groomed naturally. I do not want to be a Discovery Health show that my husband has to watch every night from our bed. Talking about killing the mood!

One of my favorite books on femininity is Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin. Though there are questionable things Andelin believes in, reading the book open my eyes to the different ways that a woman can improve herself and thus, her marriage. In her chapter on the Feminine Manner, Mrs. Andelin lists the following:

Don'ts for the Feminine Manner

  • Don't use your hands in a stiff, brusque, efficient, firm, or strong manner
  • Don't walk with a heavy gait or long strides.
  • Avoid the following qualities in the voice: loudness, firmness, efficiency, boldness, dullness, mumbling, monotonous, singsong.
  • Don't laugh loudly or in a vulgar manner
  • Don't use facial expressions that suggest anger, coldness, bitterness, resentment, disgust, or stubbornness.
  • Don't indulge in conversation that is harsh, bitter, critical, impatient, crude, vulgar, or unrefined.
  • Don't pick your nose, scratch yourself, or blow your nose in public (wiping your nose is okay).
  • Don't stroke your husband's back in public, caress his hair, or fondle him.
  • Don't slap anyone on the back.
  • Don't talk loud, whistle, or yell.
  • Don't roar at jokes.
  • Don't gulp food or eat noisily.
  • Don't drink by throwing your head back.
  • Don't sit with legs apart or one leg across the other.

Whew! With rules like that, I'm quite sure that Helen Andelin would be horrified to hear that I've been leaving the bathroom door open. After re-reading the chapter on Feminine Manner, I have decided to take care to rekindle the wonderful newlywed feeling and begin to primp in private once more!


Courtney said...

Hi Emma,

I agree with what you've said here! One thing I do is to smooth and try to fix my hair when I'm up at night with the baby. If nothing else, I like DH to see me with semi-neat hair, especially since I'm often still sleeping when he leaves in the morning.

You mentioned Fascinating Womanhood one time on my blog and lately I've been considering reading it in light of your new blog, but before I do can you tell me what you find questionable about Ms. Andelin's work?

Have a lovely day!

MamaBirdEmma said...

Hi Courtney!

I love the idea of taking a few moments to tidy up while up with the baby! It is such a sweet idea:)

I think that I used a poor choice of words when I spoke on Mrs. Andelin's book. I don't really have a problem with her writing, but I have heard some rumblings on different message boards and blogs about people not agreeing with her. I think that this mainly has to do with the fact that she is a Mormon. Honestly, the book doesn't go into that much, if at all... I think that you'd like it:)


MamaBirdEmma said...

Here, here, Mrs. R.:)

MamaBirdEmma said...

Hello Miss Gerund!

I hope that you enjoy it as much as I have!


MamaBirdEmma said...

Thanks, Miss Gerund! Let me know how you like the book once you have a chance to read it:)


Lady Why said...

I think this is a lovely post and after almost 20 years of marriage, I still do my 'maintenance' in private! I want my sweet husband to always see me in the most feminine of lights. This, of course, is not always possible... for example, a bout with the flu and all attempts to look and be your best are out the window! But, that's what makes him a wonderful husband... he loves me even in the midst of the flu and most recently, morning sickness!! But, when at all possible, I do all I can to present him with my very best.

Wonderful book recommendation as well!

MamaBirdEmma said...

I hope that I can be as feminine as you are when I've been married 20 year, Lady Why! Thank you for commenting!

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