Becoming a Feminine Lady...

I have been thinking a lot about guiding little girls in becoming feminine ladies... especially my little girl. I began thinking about this because of a conversation I had with my father-in-law and my mother-in law. My husband's father and I were discussing how excited we were about seeing the baby with bows and barrettes in her hair (when she gets some!). I expressed how much I enjoy dressing her up in little jumpers, tights, and other girly items. My father-in-law thought that this was great, but my mother -in-law wasn't so sure. She felt that doing this would "force" E. into becoming a girly-girl. "What if she wants to be a tomboy and isn't interested in wearing things like that or doing her hair?" I had no answer to her query.

What would I do if my daughter didn't enjoy being feminine? Though some may doubt what I am going to say next, I feel very strongly about the topic. I think that little girls have an inborn desire to be feminine and that they need to be encouraged to develop that femininity completely. Many women today (including my mother-in-law) weren't trained up in a way that honored the God-given roles of masculinity and femininity. I feel that it is my job as a mother to cultivate these tendencies in my children! Though it will be a hard task, I am excited to try! Please let me know if you have any hints for us!

Suggestions for Fun and Feminine Exercise...

Wear a pedometer to measure the miles or steps you take in a day. Try to increase how much you walk each day.

Borrow different exercise videos from the Library or from friends. Once you find type of exercise that you like, invest in a few DVDs for yourself and use them frequently.

Spend time taking walks, hikes, or bike rides.

Go the extra "mile:" park your car farther away from entrances, walk to get the paper or pick up the mail, or even put on some music and take a twirl around your kitchen!

Play games from your youth: hopscotch, jumping jacks, hop on one foot as long as possible, or run sprints.

Play sports like tennis, badminton, basketball, or ping pong.

Lace up your roller skates or ice skates.

Jump rope.

Play tag, hide-and-seek or manhunt.

Take an exercise class.

Get an exercise partner for taking walks, going to the gym, etc.

Bat a balloon around and try not to let it hit the floor.

Photo Courtesy of Jack Mulqueeney.

Adios Debra Barone... Hello Donna Reed!

Where have all the good television shows gone? I would love to watch a feminine role model light up the t.v. screen one evening a week! It would be grand to see a woman supporting her husband rather than tearing him down or working on improving herself rather than trying to justify her questionable actions. Thank goodness for d.v.d.'s!

Feminine Finances...

One of the traits that I think every feminine woman should aspire to acquire is the ability to be a good steward of money. This is something that I have struggled with ever since I was a child with an allowance.

When I was a single woman going through college and I worked as a waitress, spending money didn't matter too much. The only bill I had was for car insurance. Once I completed college and became a teacher, I had an income that I was free to do whatever I wanted with. I didn't save at all and bought treats for myself, John, and my family all of the time. After getting married, I was still working and though we were far from rich, my husband and I were able to live very well.

Now that I am staying at home with our daughter and my husband is supporting us financially in an increasingly expensive world, I have begun to realize I am too frivolous with our money. Though I don't make large purchases, all of the little things I "need" add up quickly. When I saw the spread sheet Microsoft Money spit out of our October expenditures, my heart fell to the floor... My household purchases were triple what they were supposed to be.

I am now going to be writing down each item I buy (with the exception of groceries) in a little notebook I keep in my handbag with the hope that I can begin training myself to eliminate frivolous spending. I am going to try to spend as little as possible for the next ten days. Please say a little prayer that I can be more mindful and more feminine when it comes to managing money for my family.

On My Wish List...

Awhile ago, I posted about wearing pretty nightgowns. Since that blog entry, I have been searching online and in stores for the "perfect" nightgown. Here it is! I found it at Dillard's online store and it is just what I was hoping for! It even has a matching robe! This set is a bit pricey... so it will either have to be a Christmas gift (hint, hint, husband:) ) or I will have to start saving up my housekeeping money for it. Either way, I am keeping my fingers crossed that Dillard's will have a sleepwear sale soon!

Vintage Rules for Married Life...

While reading all of the blog posts I've missed this past week (we were away on a Thanksgiving break), I came across this little gem at Anna's Pleasant View School House:

http://pleasantviewschoolhouse.blogspot.com/2006/11/vintage-rules-for-married-life.html11/vintage-rules-for-married-life.html

I've even gone so far as to write up my own Rules for Married Life to keep in my notebook. What Rules do you follow?

The 50 Percent Solution...

Here is an excerpt from Mireille Guiliano's latest book, French Woman For All Seasons: A Year of Secrets, Recipes, and Pleasure. I found this part of the book to be the more helpful and easy to implement in my life. I have been trying to mindfully follow the 50 Percent Solution each time I eat. I have noticed that I no longer feel stuffed once we leave the table... now, if only I can be this disciplined at our Thanksgiving meal!

The 50 Percent Solution

"If, as one critic commented on French Women Don't Get Fat, it's "all about portion size" - it's not, really, but if - then change indeed is a tall order. It's generally known that Americans on average eat 10 to 30 percent more than we need to every day. This is not such a surprising result of an increasingly knowledge-based economy, in which jobs of many individuals involve sitting all day. It is simple deductive reasoning to connect this situation with the fact that Americans are also on average 30 percent above their ideal weight. It was a sixteenth century Frenchman, Montaigne, who rightly observed that gluttony is that source of all our infirmities. In the land where there's honor in being able to eat the most hot dogs, what is one to do?

Portion control is more and art than a discipline, one grounded in a useful bit of self-deception. I have written about the power of incrementalism, cutting back portions over weeks and months as you introduce new variety. Though very simple, the method sometimes requires a scale and can be a bit too unstructured for some.

One trick I use to control my intake is to ask myself if I can live with half the amount being offered; indeed, will I be just as happy eating half as much? I put this approach into play in a variety of different ways, from splitting dessert with my husband to counting the number of pieces of bread I eat at a restaurant (Bread is one of my "offenders," a food I'm particularly vulnerable to overeating, and I can mindlessly eat three or four slices if i don't pay attention.) I use this simple alternative regularly, especially when not sure about the "hidden" ingredients of what I've been served or when the portion I've been offered is obviously large. I eat half. Slowly, of course, chewing well. I then ask myself whether I'm content, and therefore whether continuing would be a matter of pleasure or merely routine."

"Often I do continue eating, but I have only half of the half that's left. Then, after pausing, I consider half of what's left again. Edward calls this my Zeno's Paradox of portion control. To paraphrase the ancient principle, if you continue eating only half of what's on your plate each time, you will never eat the whole thing. That's a theoretical explanation. I'm content to call it the 50 Percent Solution and think more practically about why it works. The act of stopping and reflecting slows down consumption, allowing the brain to catch up with the stomach and release the hormone that tells us, "Mmm, that was good, but I've had enough." Contentment is largely a matter of the clock - not how much you ingest but also what you've eaten during a given interval.

If you implement the 50 Percent Solution routinely, your sense of a satisfying portion is bound to shrink. I've been doing ti so long it even works on a banana."

Painting: Picking Fruit By Georges Lemmen

Teaching Our Daughters to be Ladies...

This blog entry was featured on the Ladies Against Feminism website recently. I found it to be extremely inspiring! I hope that you enjoy it as much as I did!

http://makinghome.blogspot.com/2006/10/teaching-our-daughters-to-be-ladies.html

Painting: Girl with Lilac

Sophie Anderson

Looking Better when Under the Weather...

Look Better Than You Feel:

• De Puff with the Right Stuff - To deflate your face, massage in moisturizer with upward strokes to encourage circulation and drain fluid. Use tea bags (brewed, then cooled) as eye compresses for five to ten minutes (chamomile tea works well).
  
  
• Fake Looking Awake - To mask dark circles, you need a yellowish concealer, slightly lighter than your normal skin tone - but not just under the eyes: lids, the hollow above them and the inner corners by your nose are key. To add sparkle, dust shimmery, white based shadow around entire eye; use grey or taupe line on top lids for soft definition. Curling your lashes and using clear mascara can help you look extra alert, as will a whitening solution (Visine) to help with bloodshot eyes.
  
• Get a Healthy Glow - To turn a sick, pasty complexion into a model of radiance, use cream blush, not powder. Go with bright tones (red, pink) rather than murky ones (plum, brown), and rub it in evenly on the apples of cheeks, temples, and your chin. If you have a cold, you can hide a Rudolph nose with concealer (moisturize first). Chapped lips? Exfoliate with a toothbrush and use gloss to minimize the appearance of dry, flaky skin.
• Use Clothes as a Camouflage - Avoid wearing colors that echo the same ones you are trying to downplay. If your nose is red, don't wear a red sweater. If you're hiding dark circles, stay away from black or navy. A touch of white always lightens the face, so try a v-neck sweater with a white tee or collar peeking out, a white turtleneck, or a small, white scarf.

-Taken from an article by Nathalie Zimmerman. Mademoiselle. January 1999.

For some great ideas on making your little one feel better, visit Anna's blog and this entry:

http://pleasantviewschoolhouse.blogspot.com/2006/11/comfort-for-sick-babies.html

Quote...

"...but you know, I've noticed that when I made changes to the outside, changes on the inside (which are way more important) soon followed... Oh, and I think it's very important to point out that femininity isn't about sitting around in a pretty outfit and doing nothing. Oh no, the feminine woman makes it her mission in life to serve God and serve her family. I have found that it's the little touches that make something 'feminine'."

-Mrs. B

The Be Not Conformed Blog

Femininity Challenge - Friday...

The baby and I enjoyed a nice trip to the library this morning! After looking around at the books and spending some time with Sophie (the resident turtle), the baby fell asleep in her carrier and I was able to flip through a few decorating books and then read some magazines! It was a lot of fun to see the different things that people can do to their homes... especially when they do it on a budget. I was really inspired by what I read!

Among the books that I decided to check out were a few DVDs - The Law of Attraction (with Julianne Moore), Dial "M" for Murder (with Grace Kelly), and "The Buccaneers (Based on Edith Wharton's Book). It seems like all of the movies have beautiful wardrobes... interestingly enough, they are from all different time periods! I am hoping that I will get some feminine inspiration from all three!

Femininity Challenge - Thursday

Yesterday was a good day for feminine pursuits in our house! The baby and I enjoyed a shopping trip to Walmart where we bought some necessities as well as some frivolities: She got two little cotton hats to keep her bald head warm and her mama got a bath pillow for the tub and a very pale shade of pink nail polish to paint her nails.

On our way home, we stopped at our local health food store for a few things and finally, we popped into the children's bookshop located next door. Though we were just supposed to window shop, I couldn't resist "Peek-a-boo! (http://www.amazon.com/Peek-Boo-Board-Allan-Ahlberg/dp/0670871923/sr=1-1/qid=1163802264/ref=pd_bbs_1/002-5959158-0812857?ie=UTF8&s=books)." My mom had a copy for us when we were children and I absolutely love the illustrations!

After putting the baby to bed, I spent some time relaxing, picking up the house, and painting my nails. It is a nice feeling to have them done! I feel very glamorous!

Illusion...

Visit Be Not Conformed for a terrific post on keeping it real:

http://be-not-conformed.blogspot.com/2006/11/illusion.html

Femininity Challenge - Wednesday...

Today I did something a little different with my hair. I began styling it by giving it a thorough brushing and then used a large barreled curling iron to smooth it out and give the ends a bit of "oomph." Once this was done, I separated the top half of my hair and twisted it into a bun. I left the bottom half of my hair down. It seems like a nice hairstyle and I may do it that way again... especially if Baby sleeps in a few extra minutes like she did this morning!

Femininity Challenge - Tuesday...

Today was a very busy day for me! I cleaned most of the house - our bedroom and bathroom with have to wait until tomorrow - and did a lot of cooking and baking.

Here are some of the feminine things that I have accomplished today:

1. I wrote some favorite recipes down on pretty recipe cards... they had previously been printed from the computer and looked messy sticking out all over the place in my recipe box.

2. I took my time when eating today: I tried to take small bites and I ate slowly. With a baby that seems to fuss as soon as we sit down to eat, I've been wolfing down my food... I will try to do this no more! After all, microwaves were invented to reheat Mama's food!

3. I lit my Autumn Wreath candles in the family room.

I have been perusing your blogs and have been very inspired by what you are all doing! I am sorry that I have not commented... I have wanted to very much, by my husband has had a lot of work to do on the computer (he was up until 2 am last night) and so my time on-line is limited... Tomorrow will be better!

Femininity Challenge - Monday...

Yesterday was a bit cloudy with rain showers off and on, but that didn't deter me from taking the baby for a long Fall walk. As we ambled along the roads around our home, the smells of a cool, autumn day were all around us. Someone was warding off the chill by using their fireplace and we enjoyed the scent. We were so worn out by our walk, that we took a catnap once we returned.

As far as domestic femininity is concerned, I have been trying to prepare colorful and filling meals. Last night's dinner was mozzarella crusted chicken, sweet potatoes, buttered peas, and cranberry sauce. We enjoyed eating it at a nicely set table! I hope that I can keep this up when Lent arrives tomorrow!

I have been trying to give myself a spritz of my favorite honeysuckle perfume each day... It is nice to smell that springtime fragrance every so often.

I forgot to mention that I successfully wore my 'church' clothes all day on Sunday... that was a feat for me because I love cuddling up in warm slob clothes (as my dad calls them) on rainy days.

Timeless and Universal Principles of Dress...

While perusing Elizabeth's blog, I came across her recent entry on Timeless and Universal Principles of Dress... I think that you will enjoy reading it as much as I did!

http://elizabeth-themerryrose.blogspot.com/2006/11/timeless-and-universal-principles-of.html#links

Femininity Challenge - Sunday...

Today has been a gloriously rainy day! After church, my husband had a parish council meeting scheduled. Though it took a bit more time than we expected, it was well worth it... many things were resolved and Father John is happy and very hopeful!

Once we came home, we had a lunch of ham sandwiches and watched an episode of the PBS show, Manor House. Before the baby and I went to take an afternoon nap, I decided to make two steaming cups of hot chocolate. I topped each with baby marshmallows and we drank them right down! This delicious drink looked great in our white mugs... I think that this just might be a new Sunday afternoon treat for our little family!

Femininity Challenge...

For the next week (Sunday, November 12th - Saturday, November 18th), I will be participating in this blog's first challenge! Each day, I will be trying to make things around me more feminine! I will take pictures of what I do and post them - along with a description. I think that it would be terrific if the readers of this blog were to join in! Here are the rules:

• Anything can be made more feminine: your outfit, your home, your car, your yard, your cooking, etc.


• It has to be more than what you always do... for example, if you always wear your hair femininely, it won't work for the challenge. However, if you always wear your hair in a ponytail and you add a fancy clip or bow, it counts.

I can't wait to see what we all come up with!

Embracing Femininity Through Touch...

Here are some things that we can do to improve the feminine touch of things:

Wear clothing that is touchable. Some great fabrics are: soft and crisp cottons, soft or fine woolens, and anything soft, silky, and womanly.


Be sure to apply lotion to your skin daily to prevent roughness.

Use conditioner in your hair to promote soft, silky strands.

Add texture to your decorating by using soft blankets, throw pillows, and other linens.

Be sure to keep surfaces in your home clean and dust free.

Use fabric softener or dryer sheets when doing laundry.

Wear soft slippers around your home during the day to keep your toes pampered and warm.

Use baskets of different weaves to hold odds and ends around your home.

Keep fluffy towels in your kitchen and bathroom.

Just as your husband gets into the shower on a cold day, toss his towel into the dryer so that it is toasty when he's ready to use it.

After going for a long walk, enjoy a hot beverage or an icy cold one... depending on the weather.

Take a cat nap in the sun and feel the warm sun on your skin.

Take a long, luxurious bath complete with bubbles or bath oils.

Give yourself a manicure and pedicure.

Exfoliate your lips and use a lip balm to help them stay soft.

Be gentle.

Learn to move more slowly, elegantly, and purposefully.

Walk in a light graceful manner.

Practice feminine facial expressions.

Keep your legs smooth by shaving or waxing frequently.