Tuesday, January 15

Book Club: The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage...


In the introduction of this book, Dr. Laura explains what this book will do for a person's marriage and why she feels that a book like this is necessary in today's society. One of my favorite quotes (really a prescription for a good marriage) is in the introduction and is one that I mentioned before:

"People call me every day on my radio program with minor complaints, resentments, confusion, and bitterness in their marriage. With all the different combinations and permutations of people and problems, there are three points that I always try to make:

1. Treat your spouse as if you loved them with your last breath - no matter how contrary to that you might feel at any one moment.

2. Think hard every day about how you can make their life worth living.

3. Be the kind of person you would want to love, hug, come home to, and sacrifice for."

Though I don't feel like my marriage is in trouble (in fact, I feel like it is pretty wonderful!), I believe that every person can improve themselves and make their relationships better by how they act (both inwardly and outwardly). I think that is one of the reasons why I like this book so much... it doesn't make the reader feel like the victim. It makes the reader think about what they can do themselves to improve things in their marriage.

One of this things that I am hoping to improve in myself is my tendency to complain, be impatient, and be negative. I would also like to just do my job as a mother and homemaker without wishing for my husband to do his job all day and my job when he's done with his work each evening (obviously, there will be times when I need a little help, but I'm really just taking about when I have something to finish up and the poor man just wants to watch the news!)

What is your goal for improving yourself (and thus improving your marriage)?


Courtney said...

I feel similar to you, Emma. I've been feeling a little resentful this week because DH is working so long and late these days. I just want him home for some help! Notice: "I want help" not "I want to spend time with him." I try not to complain too much to him, but I know my attitude still comes across as being negative. He's a cheerful giver (more than I for sure), but I need to work on not expecting him to take on the world when he gets home. It would be more fruitful to just spend time as a family, maybe all of us relaxing, than rush around trying to get "stuff" done.

Elisabeth Black said...

"1. Treat your spouse as if you loved them with your last breath - no matter how contrary to that you might feel at any one moment."

This is awesome. Grand love must be cultivated, encouraged, don't you think? And every time we affirm it, it grows, doesn't it.

I think this is important for mothers raising children, too.

Kate said...

While I don't agree with Dr. Laura on several points overall, I love that she pounces all over women with petty complaints and resentments. I cringe whenever I hear them whine about "my needs" and "what he can do for me." They never seem to consider the other way around. Isn't love about giving and sacrificing?

My husband works his tail off, his back sore and his fingers to the bone to provide for this family and he loves it. The least I can do is love supporting him any way I can. Besides, can't these women see that when you nurture your husband, you nurture not only yourself, but your whole family too? Husbands and wives are one. Families are a unit. It all works together.

Here are two things I need to do:
1. Stop being whiny about silly little aches and pains. Hubby has no problem helping and supporting me when I need it if I'm ill or in pain, but he doesn't need to hear about every little twinge and pop.

2. Don't give in to laziness and procrastination that ultimatly stop me from doing my job, helping my hubby and cause me stress that leeches into my family.

Nikki said...

I do the same thing about expecting my husband to help me out in the evening after putting in a full day's work. Actually, he does help out a lot; when I cook(which is always), he does the dishes. I need to be thankful for what he does and work to make his evenings more relaxing after stressful days at work.

She Rose Up said...

Love your views & your voice on the site! Tiffany over at Southern Sass is how I found you...I will have to come back tomorrow when I can take more time, but, may I just say this is heavenly?!

I am THRILLED at this find & will regularly be back!

God bless!

Brenda said...

My goal is for when my husband calls to tell me he's working late, not to get upset. He doesn't stay late because he wants to, and I know he'd much rather be home with the family.

jeremy, adelle, and ella said...

found your blog through ashley lancaster. love it so far!! thanks for sharing so honestly! i need to remember those 3 points!!

She Rose Up said...

As Frasier Crane would say, I am simpatico with these points! I have to say, it has taken years of the school of flubs & mishaps, followed by, discovering God actualy has a much better way! (I didn't get saved until 29) Then learning slowly & sometimes hilariously how to apply those truths!

As far as what 1 thing am I working on this year, this year (our anniversary was in December) I felt impressed by the Lord that this would be The Year of Romance...well, you would have to know me, I am NOT a romantic person, though I do adore romance, (what a paradox I know!) Not neccessarily the wine and roses, that isn't what God put on my heart, but the adventure, the mystery, the innocence, the laughter! I am just getting started on this odyssey & I am discovering lots of things!

Is this part of a series? I will be back!

God bless!

Elizabeth @ The Garden Window said...

I was finally able to get a copy of the book today; I look forward to joining in the discussion :-)

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