Friday, September 17

If You Can't Say Something Nice...

Two Conversations that took place within ten minutes of one another:

Sales Woman: How old is your baby?
Juliana: Oh, he's actually my sister's baby. He's three months old.
Sales Woman (with look of disapproval): Are those all her children?
Juliana (without missing a beat): Yes, isn't she so lucky?
Sales Woman: Uhhhh... Yes?


Shopper: Are you a princess?

(Sugar Plum shyly looks down.)

Shopper: You can't wear a pretty pink dress and pink shoes without being a princess!
Mama: Sugar Plum, say thank you.
Sugar Plum: Thank you!
Shopper (looking at Little Man seriously and a little meanly): And I know what you are... The devil in disguise!
Mama: ???

I do want to point out that though my children can certainly be naughty little monkeys, they were being quiet and very good in this particular store.


Anonymous said...

Wait - I thought you only had three children? How does three children merit the, "Are they all yours?" question? Juliana had the right response! As to the other conversation... I wouldn't know how to respond either!

Michelle Therese said...

Good gravy! I'd be quiet too if that lady was yapping at me about being a devil!

Arielle said...

Ack! These kind of comments start with THREE?!?! I can't believe they said those things!

Just this morning at the park, some other mamas and I were talking about mothers who have children late in life, i.e. in their forties (which I think is an amazing blessing when it's possible and hope I can have children into my forties). I told them about my mom's best friend, who had three children, then her husband had a vasectomy. Several years later they felt convicted that that was the wrong thing to do, they had a reversal, and had three more. Her last was born when she was 46. I think this is an awesome story and am so glad they had those second three. They are my little sister's best friends, my mom's students, and often help out at our house. The park mamas were aghast. One blurted out, "Why would you WANT to do that?!" Another smirked and said sarcasticly, "I guess some people just really like children." (...I can't believe one would say that sarcasticly). I was aghast at their response!

Matushka Anna said...


When will people learn to shut up?

And the "are ALL those her children?" question? Good heavens, woman. Get a grip. Good for you, Juliana!

Bethany Hudson said...

*sigh* If it makes you feel any better, I was once told by a man in the grocery store that I had two many kids to handle. My TWO--count 'em TWO--babies were sitting sweetly in the shopping cart not making a peep--and this oppinionated man had two of his own children with him! His daughter pointed out the hypocrisy of his statement, and he turned to her and said, "But look how close in age they are!" (For the record, my kids are 22 months apart)!!! I mean, seriously. I don't even pay it any mind anymore. Perhaps this was God's little way of telling me early on, "People are going to say nutty things. Ignore them. Keep your eyes on me."

God bless you, Emily! And, God help us all!

Michelle M. said...

I will never understand why people make comments like this.

I'm sorry you had to go through that.

FrontierDreams said...

*jaw drop* Seriously?! Oh my!! I don't have naything nice to say about those people so I won't say a thing but grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!! :(

My deepest apologies you had to deal with those

Courtney said...

Another smirked and said sarcasticly, "I guess some people just really like children." (...I can't believe one would say that sarcasticly). I was aghast at their response!
This response from one of the ladies kind of confirms my theory that some just have kids because it's "what you do!" Boy for him, girl for me, etc.

There are five of us (that I know of) expecting in our (secular) homeschool co-op...all are babies #3 and up!

Xenia Kathryn said...

I had no idea that the "too many kids" comments would start rolling with three. Lots of people have three kids, right? I never knew it seemed like "SO MUCH" to the rest of the world.

With one baby, you get lots of adoring looks and kind comments from strangers.

With two you get lots of good-natured chuckles and a "You've got your hands full!"

With three? Well... there's definitely a different vibe!

One friend of mine pointed out that I could pass for 18, which might be part of the general bewilderment. Maybe I should get some mom jeans? :)

elizabeth said...

crazy; sometimes I think we just need to laugh about these things; I gather the shopper was trying to be funny or something about the whole princess / devil thing...


wishing you a quiet and peaceful weekend! :)

Anonymous said...

*shakes head* that's disheartening. Last week a senior in a van stopped in the middle of the street to leer out his window at me and yell "you don't want any more, do you?!" to which I replied "of course I do (you mean old man, I just had a miscarriage and am ttc...grrr)." Ok the parenthetical statement I said in my head. He laughed and drove off. I had 2 of my daughters (I have 3 kids) and a boy I babysit with me. It's so sad when someone who should be grandfatherly mocks motherhood. I'm sorry you experienced such rudeness too.

Kate said...

Wow! Two in just 10 minutes? I don't usually get negative comments about my three kiddos. I've had some stares, but mostly, I get smiles and "they're so cute!" I love it when the elderly swoon over my babies and tell me they grow up so fast and to enjoy it.

I did have a Christian woman tell me while I was pregnant with my 3rd, "you don't need any more children. When your husband gets that look in his eyes, tie him to a tree."

I was completely aghast when she said that! First of all, I was pregnant and visibly so with #3. Hubby and I want more children and we make that clear. And her remark implied that hubby was practically forcing me to get pregnant.

Another biggie are the people that tell me that I'll never find a babysitter if I have any more kids.

Or, if I'm having an off day with the kids and there's general frustration all around, I've gotten the, "well, you're the one who wanted them" statement. Even in the bad times, I still love and want my children, born and unborn. Even when I fall into bed crying at night because things went terribly during the day, I still want my children.

I always thought it was funny that as soon as you get married, people want to know when you're going to start having children. However, as soon as you've had 2, people want to know when you're going to stop. LOL!

jen said...

The comment toward your son is inexcusable. What kind of mind thinks of something so cruel to say? I've just started reading your blog so don't know how old your little boy is. I hope he didn't understand what the woman was saying.

Kathryn said...

People do generally stop offering SO MUCH ADVICE when you are surrounded by 7 and visibly pregnant. I think they start to think its not worth the effort...what does happen though is that some really kind people start making the effort to say something wonderful to you, it is such a blessing to have older people come tell me "I was one of 8, 9, 11 etc..etc.. and I loved my upbringing..we are all still close, or there are only 3 of us left" will warm your heart and give you great encouragment. Its too bad so many offer unwanted opinions about our families as they grow...but once you've reached a certain age and a certain size, the bad fades off and the good that replaces it is a treasure!
Kathryn (mom to 9)

MamaBirdEmma said...

Thanks for your encouraging comments, everyone!

Jen, our little guy is going to be three in December. Thankfully, I don't think that he really knew what was going on.

Jen said...

I also have had similar experiences as Kate... I was pregnant with my fifth, but not visibly so, and I hadn't told anyone, when i was just *looking* at a book with a friend about natural family planning. I was told "you shouldn't have any more, you already have 4". And then wondered why I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant until I was outed at 5 and 1/2 months, still with no plans of telling any time until it was obvious.

And same with the off days comment. And the thing is, with a large family, you can't really ask for help either, or admit you might be struggling, becasue you get the same answer.

Oh the stories we of "so many" children could tell...

I had someone obviously COUNT my children one day in the grocery store. When she was sure her eyes had NOT deceived her, and she did, in fact, count six... she was not amused.

I had one person rock up to me once and tell me I "had too many children" I looked at her and asked "And which ones do you suggest I give back?" (my personal faourite *grin*)

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