How to Enter and Exit a Car Gracefully...

Recently, we were taking a drive and I saw a lady re-entering a car in a very graceful manner. It reminded me how often I heave myself out of the car's seat or plop myself down inelegantly. I've found a little video on the subject, but also decided that it would be a good idea to post the transcript in case someone didn't want to view the video (The woman is wearing a very short skirt and shows her skivvies... frequently). Here's the transcript from Wikihow:

Steps

• Prepare your clothing. Before you even open the door, get your skirt or dress ready for your exit.
• If you're wearing a miniskirt, pull the cloth down to cover as much of your thighs as possible.
• If you're wearing a longer skirt, dress, or train, pull it down to cover your knees and push any excess fabric toward the center of the car so that it doesn't get caught around your feet when you exit.
• Open the door as far as you can stretch your arm.Don't lean out of the vehicle to open the door, but make sure it's open far enough that you can exit gracefully. If your date or chauffeur opens the door for you, all the better.
• Keep your knees together and put your feet on the ground. Place your outside leg on the ground outside the door, and quickly place your other leg next to it. Try to keep your knees together throughout the movement.
• Swivel your hips and upper body towards the door.
• Help yourself up with your hands. Place your hands on the seat on either side of you, and push yourself up out of the car. Keep your hands low to give yourself better leverage and to appear more graceful. Try to rise smoothly.
• Dip your head slightly as you get out. Showing your underwear is embarrassing, but hitting your head on the way out of the car is even worse. Gracefully dip under the top of the door frame.
• Make sure your feet are firmly on the ground before stepping away from the car. If the pavement is uneven, or if there's a curb right next to you, the first step can be disastrous, especially if you're in high heels. Be aware of where you put your feet, and watch your step.
• Another great way to exit gracefully is to keep your knees touched, and simply swivel. This works exceptionally well in high vehicles, like SUVs. It works well if you are wearing high heels as well, as you can lift yourself out with your legs and keep your hands near your center.
  

Tips

• It's worth noting that wearing a longer skirt or something that will not permit inadvertent displays of your undergarment(s) is likely the easiest route to take if this is an actual concern.
• Even if you're careful, you might end up showing a glimpse of your underwear. Make sure they're clean and flattering just in case.
• If you have someone to help you out of the car, place one hand on the seat to push yourself up, and put your other hand on top of your assistant's outstretched hand so that you can push down on it.
• Practice makes perfect. The steps above should be performed quickly and should appear effortless. Practice in private before you go out, and have a friend watch you so you can make sure you look good and you're not showing off your underwear.
• The same process can be used in reverse for getting into the car...open the door, enter the car butt-first (or in Great Britain, bum-first) and then swing both legs into the car after you with your knees together.
  

Warnings

• Don't bend back into the car to retrieve something. You don't want to ruin the effect of your graceful exit by immediately bending over awkwardly and possibly showing your underwear.

Not Just for Kids...

These sweet little piggies demonstrate good manners for little children to learn... I think that everyone could benefit from a little flashcard drill!

Head Covering 101...

Here are some examples of head coverings as some women wear them. All of these pictures were taken during services in the Orthodox Church. Some of the women are wearing hats, but more are wearing scarves. Here are some tips I've gleaned during the years I covered my head.

• If you choose to wear a scarf, often it will slip down off of your head. If you fold the scarf into a triangle, cross the ends and then tie them in a knot at the base of your neck (like the woman in picture number four), it is quite easy to put the scarf back up onto your head (especially if it is silky). Ones that are long and rectangular like in picture number three work well wither tied under or chin or wrapped around and tied in the back of your neck.
  
• Bobby pins are very useful for securing scarves to hair. Another trick (and my favorite) is to buy very tiny claw clips and use them to keep your scarf from slipping off. See picture number one (and my friend Gabby's head) for bobby pin how-to.
  
• Tying smaller scarves/bandannas underneath your hear (like in picture one) is also easy to do.
• Wearing a hat is less work to keep on, but it can be tricky to find a good one. Here is an article on the subject.
• It is hard to keep children away from scarves, especially when they aren't used to their mother wearing one. Practicing around the house might help get your children used to seeing you in a scarf, but you may just have to train your children not to touch your scarf. I think that securing the scarf to your head with bobby pins or mini claw clips will work well though, too.
  

Photos taken from oca.org and Saint Elizabeth the New Martyr Church.

Dressing to the Standard of the Community...

I've been thinking a lot about the standard of dress we have here in the United States... especially when it comes to dressing for church. In the Orthodox Christian Church, there are women who dress in varying degrees of modest or immodest feminine dress and modest or immodest casual dress. I imagine that it is the same in Roman Catholic churches and Protestant churches.

I have belonged to several different Orthodox Churches in my lifetime and for the most part, the women of these parishes dressed nicely when they came to church. My father is priest to a small mission parish and the women there all wear skirts or dresses and head coverings when in church. My father-in-law has a parish where the majority of women wear skirts or dresses and only a handful wear head coverings.


I searched around on the internet to see if there was a dress code that people could follow and found this from a Orthodox Church in New Jersey:

Sunday Dress - Remember the time when people put on their “Sunday best” to go to church? In fact, dress clothes were often referred to as Sunday clothes. In some parts of the country, this is not common today. In fact, all too often, dress in church has become too casual. In all areas of our lives, we should offer Christ our best. And the same is true of our dress. We should offer Christ our “Sunday best”, not our everyday or common wear. And we should dress modestly, not in a flashy way that would bring attention to ourselves. Our dress should always be becoming of a Christian - especially at church. Here are some specific guidelines we use in our parishes:

Children: Only young children (under 10) should wear shorts to church — and then only dress shorts. Athletic shorts, cut-offs, and spandex shorts are never appropriate church wear (for children or adults!). Shoes or sandals should be clean and tied. No one should wear T-shirts with any kind of writing on them (“This Bud’s for You!” is definitely out).

Women: Dresses should be modest. No tank tops or dresses with only straps at the shoulders, no short skirts (mini-skirts), and no skin-tight dresses. Dresses should have backs and not be cut low in the front. If women wear pants to church, they should be dress pants (not jeans, leggings, etc.). Shorts of any type are not appropriate for church.

Men: Men should also dress modestly. While coat and tie are not mandatory, shirts should
have collars and be buttoned to the collar (the actual collar button may be left undone, but two or three buttons undone is inappropriate). Slacks should be cleaned and pressed. Jeans (of any color) are usually too casual for church, especially ones with patches or holes. Again, shorts are not appropriate church wear. If you’re going somewhere after church where you need to dress casually, bring a change of clothing with you and change after coffee hour. Remember, use your best judgment and good taste when dressing for church. After all, you don’t go to be seen by everyone else — you go to meet and worship God.

A Final Thought - North American society in the late 20th century is rather casual in its approach to life. Don’t allow this prevailing attitude to enter into your Orthodox Christian piety. There are surely a lot of other areas that could be covered here. Much of church etiquette is based on common sense and showing respect for God and others. Always remember that you are in church to worship God, the Holy Trinity. The priest says, “With the fear of God and faith and love, draw near.” Let this be the way you approach all of worship. If you do, you will probably have good church etiquette. AMEN.

During my internet search, I also found an Episcopalian blog that had an entry on Dressing for Church. I thought that it was sad, yet interesting when the author of this post stated: "Now that I have children of my own, I frequently have to urge the younger one to revisit his bedroom and upgrade his sartorial selection before we set out for church. My concern, I must admit, has less to do with giving honor to God--whom I am not sure cares--than about dressing to the standards of the community. "

How do you dress for church? What are your thoughts on the matter?

Photo courtesy of oca.org

Sitting Prettily...

Funeral Etiquette...

As most of you know, my husband's grandfather passed away late last week. We had the funeral on Monday and since my husband was one of the priests officiating at the funeral service, we arrived quite early and I was able to watch mourners arrive. I cannot even begin to tell you how appalled I was at the way people were dressed. It seems to me that people have forgotten the proper way to dress for a funeral.

Here are some words of wisdom on the subject from Genevieve Antoine Dariaux, author of A Guide to Elegance:

"A woman who attends a funeral dressed in a conspicuous manner shows proof of a total lack of good taste and good manners. Even if you are not a member of the immediate family, you should dress in black, or at least in whatever you own that is most dark and neutral, and you should wear no jewelery. During the course of a year it is unfortunately likely that you will be obliged to attend a funeral ceremony, and you should prepare for this eventuality in planning your wardrobe.

The best choice, aside from a black suit of wool in winter and linen in the summer, is a dark gray flannel ensemble, both of them worn with a black hat, gloves, shoes, and bag."